My understanding of destiny

The idea and generally concept of destiny, is an idea everybody learns about, experiences and questions at least once in their life. One thing about it I particularly like is that, despite it being a universal experience, not everybody has the same view and answer on what destiny is.

I believe destiny as a concept has always fascinated us a a species. From the Greek Fates to the Norse Norns, as well as the idea of concept of astronomy and star signs, the idea that we have meaning and can work it out has always had a profound impact on us. Of course, we all want to feel important, who wants to feel like they shouldn't be alive? The idea of destiny has allowed us to feel like we should.

Naturally, the idea of destiny has brought comfort to millions and helped them find their purpose to stay alive, giving them a lust for life. Many others are still searching, holding onto hope (which itself is a very useful and powerful feeling to have) that they may find theirs.

Of course, there are also nihilists. Nihilists believe that life is meaningless and therefore there's no point trying. You could imagine the stereotype of goths, who may believe this philosophy (though many goths, from my personal experience, aren't nihilistic, just goth), and that they're angry and depressed with the world and the pointlessness of it. However, from nihilism can stem something more positive. For example, my complicated experience with the concept of destiny.

At the age of seventeen, or thereabouts, I started struggling, somewhat badly, with existential crises. I've always been an anxious person who occasionally worried about the heat death of the universe and what it would mean to my already decomposed body, but at this point, I had just heard that the expansion of the universe may be slowing and the possibility that, just like when you ping a rubber band, it would pull back and everything would be destroyed. Of course, this sent me into several anxiety spirals about what was the point of making an impact if everyone's going to die and we'll be forgotten. The idea of this terrified me for a while, to the point, I struggled getting to sleep due to my excessive worry about this.

After a while, however, it dawned on me - if life was meaningless and everyone is going to die anyway, what was the point of worrying. I already have a finite time on earth and I'm wasting it on worrying about that finite time. Maybe the meaningless of life was the meaning - if there was no point, we could do whatever we wanted. We could chose our own meaning. The lack of meaning means that you can do whatever you want. At the end of the day, we're sacks of flesh on a rock floating through the unknown cosmos - does it really matter if we decide to write instead of paint, or build instead of repair? We're all dying anyway, so we might as well enjoy it.

This has helped for the most part in dousing the fire of existential dread (with only the small flame that I can easily extinguish),

However, my thoughts on destiny doesn't end there. While I don't generally believe in destiny and that we're all supposed to be anything aside from what we chose, I do believe that there are certain people we're supposed to meet eventually.

I have friends that I met when I had few others who have helped me discover parts of myself that I didn't realise I had - confidence, contempt with myself, a person once again happy with my hobbies.

As well as this, the degree I'm currently doing now, I had applied for the year before. Unfortunately, I didn't get in. However, by joining the degree the year after, I was allowed to go on the yearly residential and met someone who, if I had gotten in when I did, would have been in my year. They are now a very good friend of mine and one I talk to some what regularly. This makes me think that, while destiny may not be real, there are some people who's path, just by sheer luck, will cross yours several times. Maybe life is meaningless, but to live, to love, to exist in spite of the lack of meaning, can do just as much good. Meaninglessness can feel bad, but there will always be a consistent (and a few inconsistent) people that will make you feel better.

Overall, I think it's great that people can go out in search for meaning and find not only that, but their own personal happiness, but meaning isn't for everyone. Sometimes it's ok just to live and to enjoy just living, having fun doing what you want, having choice. Life is something we do until we die (obviously), but it's ok if we don't know what's next - that's half the fun. Meaning or not, you're allowed to explore any aspect and avenue of life you want. You're allowed to be happy, even if you're not where you're meant to be. Happiness doesn't come from a vague existential purpose we chose, it comes by waking up and trying, even on the days we can't and resting, even on days we probably shouldn't. At the end of the day, life is chaos, it provides chaos, it throws chaos and expects us to react, but we're allowed to throw a bit of chaos of our own back.